MSG Likes Their Dicks In Boxes

I admit that I like Justin Timberlake. I wouldn’t have taught him all my moves if I didn’t. Purely in a sexual non-sexual way though, of course. He’s seems like a cool guy, and despite trying way too hard to be the illegitimate son of Michael Jackson and Prince (who would be the mother in that situation?), I actually dig more than a few of his tracks. He can also pull off comedy surprisingly well, as witnessed in his multiple SNL appearances over the years.

As the first encore of his show at Madison Square Garden last night, J-Timbs (don’t worry, it’s cool, we’re tight) brought out Andy Samberg to perform a live rendition of “Dick in a Box”.

Though Timberlake kicked off a raucous set at 9 p.m. that had audience members including Donald and Melania Trump on their feet, the real fun started at 11:20, when an announcer appeared to introduce “a new band” that had “the most watched video on YouTube.” He ended with, “Can [this concert] get any better than this? Hell yes it can!”

Then Samberg and Timberlake took the stage – in their Color Me Badd-style costumes and facial hair from the SNL sketch and, of course, presents attached below the belt. To wild cheering they sang “D— in a Box,” changing the holiday lyrics from “Christmas … Hannukkah … Kwanzaa” to “Valentine’s Day … Flag Day … Kwanzaa.”

The “Dick in a Box” sketch now has close to 27,539,054,289,724 views on YouTube I think, and rightfully so. The SNL Digital Shorts were the only things worth your attention for a while on that abysmal show. The dudes responsible for all of them — Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone — produced hilarious things as The Lonely Island and deserve this kind of attention. And by “this kind of attention” I mean “the chance to snag some hot Hollywood tail.” That reminds me, I gotta ask JT this weekend if I left Scarlett just the right amount of vulnerable for him.


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