Girls of Survivor

Survivor logo

With the 15th season of Survivor in full swing now, I feel it completely necessary to take a look back at some of the foxy shebas to grace the sandy shores of Survivor islands over the years.

I considered ranking my personal favorite ladies for about a half a minute before I remembered that I hate rankings, then I considered narrowing them down to a reasonable number before I remembered that I’m posting pictures of each broad. So here’s over two dozen hot Survivor chicks…

SEXY UPDATE:  If you’re looking to drool over girls from seasons 16 through 22, check out Part II.  Not to toot my own horn, but I think I really stepped up my game for it.

Colleen Haskell (Season 1: Borneo)

Didn’t really do it for me, but I feel obliged to put her on here. In the rookie season, somehow she was the most attractive and drew a lot of media attention, paving the way for future Survivor hotties. Loses points for co-starring in a Rob Schneider movie.

Colleen Haskell hot survivor Borneo

Elisabeth Filarski (Season 2: The Australian Outback)

Painfully adorable. Now Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View, the years have seen her grow hotter and dumber.

Elisabeth Filarski hot survivor Australian Outback

Amber Brkich (Season 2: The Australian Outback, Season 8: All-Stars)

When you’re finished drooling, I’ll tell you that she won the million the second time around.

Amber Brkich hot survivor Stuff magazine Australian Outback All-Stars

…She’s a millionaire.

Sarah Jones (Season 4: Marquesas)

Bonus points for doing Playboy.

Sarah Jones hot survivor Marquesas

Erin Collins (Season 5: Thailand)

Her body says she’s going places. Her tribe said otherwise.

Erin Collins hot survivor Thailand

Heidi Strobel (Season 6: The Amazon)

I like a girl who cleans up nice.

Heidi Strobel hot survivor Amazon

She’s the middle one. That other girl to her left is Jenna Morasca. They became bestest naked friends 4ever that season…

Jenna Morasca (Season 6: The Amazon, Season 8: All-Stars)

Heidi Strobel hot survivor Jenna Morasca Playboy Amazon All-Stars

Nicole Delma (Season 7: Pearl Islands)

Her beauty was overshadowed by Rupert Boneham and Jonny Fairplay’s pure awesomeness.

Nicole Delma hot survivor Pearl Islands

Ami Cusack (Season 9: Vanuatu)

Mostly memorable for being a lesbian. And in Playboy. A lesbian in Playboy.

Ami Cusack hot survivor Vanuatu Fans Favorites

Eliza Orlins (Season 9: Vanuatu)

Fourth place in the season. First place in my heart.

Eliza Orlins hot survivor Vanuatu Fans Favorites

Julie Berry (Season 9: Vanuatu)

Fifth place in the season. First place in Jeff Probst’s heart.

Julie Berry hot survivor Maxim Vanuatu

Dolly Neely (Season 9: Vanuatu)

The blonde Mary Anne Summers.

Dolly Neely hot survivor Vanuatu

Leann Slaby (Season 9: Vanuatu)

She meant business.

Leann Slaby hot survivor Vanuatu

Kimberly Mullen (Season 10: Palau)

Survived the Miss Ohio USA 2002 pageant. Did not survive Survivor 2005.

Kimberly Mullen hot survivor Miss Ohio USA Palau

Jennifer Lyon (Season 10: Palau)

Currently battling breast cancer, Jennifer was pretty damn irresistible in Palau.

Jennifer Lyon hot survivor Palau

Stephenie LaGrossa (Season 10: Palau, Season 11: Guatemala)

South Jersey and Philly’s offering to the Survivor gods. Fitting that with two opportunities, she came up just short of the million both times.

Stephenie LaGrossa hot survivor Palau Guatemala Heroes Villains

Brooke Struck (Season 11: Guatemala)

Fourth castaway voted out, but come on, look at that face.

Brooke Struck hot survivor Guatemala

Brianna Varela (Season 11: Guatemala)

Third castaway voted out, but come on, look at that face.

Brianna Varela hot survivor Guatemala

Morgan McDevitt (Season 11: Guatemala)

Second castaway voted out, but come on, she’s a magician’s assistant.

Morgan McDevitt hot survivor Guatemala

Danni Boatwright (Season 11: Guatemala)

Smokin’ hot. Miss Kansas USA 1996. Sports radio talk show host. Million-dollar Sole Survivor. Boner.

Danni Boatwright hot survivor Guatemala

Misty Giles (Season 12: Panama)

Kind of annoying and thought she was a much better player than she was for being voted out third, but cute enough and an electrical engineer.

Misty Giles hot survivor Panama

Danielle DiLorenzo (Season 12: Panama)

If you happen to be in the mood for endless sentences of extreme punctuation and motivation, take a trip over to Danielle’s MySpace page. I’ll whet your appetite…

Don’t judge a book by it’s coverPlease if you know anything watch what you say because I bitejust like any bostonian we have some touchy be careful!!

Danielle DiLorenzo hot survivor Panama Exile Island Heroes Villains

Parvati Shallow (Season 13: Cook Islands)

A boxer and a cocktail waitress rolled into one!

Parvati Shallow hot survivor Cook Islands Fans Favorites Heroes Villains

Michelle Yi (Season 14: Fiji)

Too cute to handle at times.

Michelle Yi hot survivor Fiji

Courtney Yates (Season 15: China)

Quickly withering away before our eyes each week, but when she had some body mass to her, she had it goin’ on.

Courtney Yates hot survivor China Heroes Villains

It’s not all about T&A in this blogspot. As a man of science, I feel compelled to share with you some data I’ve uncovered in my research. It really reeks of science, so you might want to pinch your nose a little bit.

survivor science bar graph

Here we see how a number of sexy castaways have decided to utilize their beauty both before and after their time on Survivor. Except Jenna Lewis. She’s kinda gross. Nevertheless, pretty impressive numbers that the ladies are putting up.

And how do the seasons stack up against each other?

survivor parabolic trends of seasonal bangability

Clearly, the show peaked in its ninth through eleventh seasons, with Season 9: Vanuatu reaching astronomical heights of dirty, unshaven, awful-smelling, bug-bitten, reality sexiness. The series has all but flat-lined in recent years, and it’s obvious that the end is near for this pioneer of reality game shows. When that times comes, feel free to buy me the Season 9 DVD.


6 responses to “Girls of Survivor

  1. can i just say that the “bangability” chart is the most interesting scientific chart i’ve ever laid eyes on. I didn’t even know bangability was a term, but i’m going to try to bring it into my everyday vocab.

  2. This list should have been rated by jerkability too because sometimes ya gotta Glen Gherkin that shit. Some of these broads are bound to be unsavory downstairs.

  3. erin still serving up the rum with plenty of cOkE.

  4. Pingback: GIRLS OF SURVIVOR, PART II: HOT N’ NOT-SO-HEAVY | Sounds Like Shark

  5. I love Elisabeth, Erin and Penny, Jenna Morasca, Amy, Leann, Eliza and Julie (Julie is so sweet definitely), Parvati, Cecilia, Jenny, Jessica (Flicka) and my favourite person from the whole survivor series from the females is Candice Woodcock. I have never seen a beautiful body, face and goodness like her’s and she is a very strong survivor player! The first time I saw her I thought that she’ll never go so far in Cook Islands cause I thought she is so gentle 🙂 And she is gentle but also playing hard.

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