Weezer Needs More Crayons

According to a recent press release, Weezer has bumped the release date of its sixth studio album up a few weeks. This may excite you. Then I may tell you to wake the fuck up out of the coma you fell into in 1996.

In keeping with their tradition of rehashing their own songwriting and creativity in general, the boys decided to once again forgo an actual album title for the last remaining primary color, then re-animate the incorruptible body of “El Scorcho” and lay it back to rest, after some serious corpse-diddling, as their new single “Pork And Beans”.

Since I can only assume I’ve already heard everything on “The Red Album” before (but ten times better), I’ll join the recycling bandwagon for my review of the new record.

Make Believe Weezer (again)
2005 2008

Listening to this album is akin to feeding your ear a steaming plate of turds, using the sharpest fork in your kitchen to jam in the remaining dingle-berries of uninspired, cheesy lyrics, delivered with pre-school rhyme schemes in a nauseating amalgam of sulking spoken word and singing, overtop boring, recycled power chord progressions.

Scratchin’ Letters Rating: 1 Farticle


2 responses to “Weezer Needs More Crayons

  1. that last paragraph made me kind of nauseous…point taken sir. point taken.

  2. HAHA! That is the best review ever. Sounds like this review could also go for the new Indiana Jones movie.

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