Tom Morello Refuses To Just Play Music

It’s safe to say most already agree that Tom Morello is a highly educated guitar virtuoso with awful opinions. But the scale for me just tipped from mildly annoying rock god to talented asshat after reading the following statement.

Though he is optimistic about Obama, Morello is not ready to give up his one-man revolution just yet. “Obama’s stated positions are much too centrist for my taste,” he says. “I always laugh when the Republicans would say, ‘He’s a Socialist or he’s a Marxist.’ I’m thinking, ‘Man, if we really did have a black Marxist as president, that’d be fantastic.'”

I don’t know what the hell they’re teaching over at Harvard’s Political Science program, but I’d like to think that Morello opted to run through that bugger of a chromatic mixolydian inverse scale one more time by skipping the class on how Marxism DOESN’T FUCKING WORK.

Tom, please allow me to demonstrate how people’s inherent greed, pride, and differing senses of personal responsibility would make a mess of your utopia, as a lame excuse to post this sweet photo of you I found online…


Let’s say you’re looking forward to a delightful night of getting to know each of these three fine young ladies, at the same time. Then two of your hairy roadies, who smell strangely like cheese and baby poop, waltz over and demand their fair share of female companionship. But they take the redhead and the Katy Perry wannabe, leaving you with the brunette, who insists on telling you how she thinks she made the right choice of outfit tonight because, even though the lack of sleeves brings attention to her thick arms, she thinks the black and white polka-dots are really slimming.

Karl says, “Rock on, brother”.

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2 responses to “Tom Morello Refuses To Just Play Music

  1. Brilliant. Although that girls arms aren’t THAT thick. Sorry all our girlfriends can’t be Miss New Jersey caliber, assface.But seriously, Tom Morello is a douche hole.

  2. I concur. Tom Morello IS a douche hole.

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