NOEL GALLAGHER TURNS DOWN ‘X FACTOR’ GIG, CRUSHES MY DREAMS

Noel Gallagher X Factor judge

"Ah've heard Liam queef more melodically than your bloody singing."

Noel Gallagher has turned down an offer to get paid a silly amount of money to continue doing what he has successfully been doing free-of-charge for years…hilariously ridiculing other musicians and singers.  Simon Cowell apparently offered Gallagher over 1 million pounds (roughly $1.6 million) to join the judge’s panel on the hit UK talent show “The X Factor.”

This wouldn’t normally grab my attention, but when I read that the offer included the potential to move his limey ass over to the upcoming American version down the road, I got real interested, real quick.  My god, I would tune in every week (and i mean tune in, not DVR) to watch him crush the souls of young, aspiring pop stars.  Exhibit 1,897-C…

Music mogul Simon told the former Oasis guitarist to “name his price” to fill his judging slot on the hit ITV talent show.

But Noel, 43, said he did not need the cash and wanted to focus on his music career instead – because he had “a duty” to stop brother Liam’s band Beady Eye “stinking up the bottom of the charts”.  [The Sun via NME]

The only way that panel could get more entertaining would be to have Gilbert Godfried prop up Greg Giraldo’s body between Simon and Noel and dole out judgment like a scene from Weekend at Bernie’s.

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