Category Archives: TV

SNOOP DOGG IS TWO MONTHS TOO LATE, STILL A JOKE

Snoop Dogg Charlie Sheen studio

And the guitarist was having such a great day up until this point...

The Snoop Dogg and Charlie Sheen collaboration that absolutely everyone no one has been clamoring for has finally surfaced.  And it is every bit as terrible as you’d expect from a rapper who jumped the shark about eight years ago and an actor who nuked the fridge about eight weeks ago.  It’s called…wait for it…”Winning.”  Of course it is.

I miss young Death Row Snoop.  The one who hung around with murderers and business-oriented thugs named Suge who held Vanilla Ice over balconies by his ankles.  Come back to me, Doggfather!

[via Warming Glow]

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JOSH HOMME TAKES ON NEW AQUA TEEN THEME

Josh Homme Aqua Teen Hunger Force Meatwad

“Aqua Teen Hunger Force” will apparently no longer be going by that name, which it’s held since its debut on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim in 2000.  For the season premiere on May 8, they’ll be re-branded as “Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1.”  What’s this have to do with music, you ask?  Well, Queens of the Stone Age and Them Crooked Vultures guitarist and frontman Josh Homme, along with frequent collaborator Alain Johannes, were commissioned to write the new theme song.  And here it is…

Well, that was, um…I’ll be honest, I have no idea what’s going on here.  I’ve only ever seen a couple episodes, but that was more than enough for me to say this is dog turds compared to the original theme.  And here I was, thinking Josh Homme could do no wrong.  Just in case you’re not convinced, here’s the original for comparison.  Followed by Meatwad, as a hand puppet, giving a very official press release about the upcoming change.  Because it’s fantastic.

Embedding disabled on the below video (*shakes fist at paid advertising*), so you have to click the link in the video to view it on YouTube.

[via Pitchfork]

ZAKK WYLDE ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES AMERICAN IDOL APPEARANCE

Zakk Wylde James Durbin Ryan Seacrest American Idol

One of these things is not like the others; One of these things just doesn't belong.

Helping to fill my quota of TV-induced cringing last week, Zakk Wylde made a surprise guest appearance on American Idol in support of resident “rocker” James Durbin’s Wednesday night performance.  He had this to say about it to USA Today:

“I told [Black Label Society bandmate and bassist] J.D. [John DeServio] and the other guys in the band, ‘You know, I’m also known as Icon; they use the word ‘legendary’ around me. I guess now we can just throw ‘Idol’ in there,” Wylde said, with tongue planted firmly in cheek. “J.D.’s like, ‘Dude, I’m not going to puke, I’m going to go hang myself.’ So I’ll definitely get some mileage out of this.”  [via Gibson.com]

I’ve embedded the video of the appearance below, and if you enjoy watching things that make you uncomfortable and incite endless douche chills, then by all means, watch the hell out of it.  It’s almost as if Wylde had either been tricked into the gig or somehow had no prior notion of what the show is about.  If you look closely, you can almost see the exact moment Wylde realized he had made a mistake, shortly followed by the moment he realized he would have to suppress his urge to strangle Randy Jackson with his bare hands on live television.

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NOEL GALLAGHER TURNS DOWN ‘X FACTOR’ GIG, CRUSHES MY DREAMS

Noel Gallagher X Factor judge

"Ah've heard Liam queef more melodically than your bloody singing."

Noel Gallagher has turned down an offer to get paid a silly amount of money to continue doing what he has successfully been doing free-of-charge for years…hilariously ridiculing other musicians and singers.  Simon Cowell apparently offered Gallagher over 1 million pounds (roughly $1.6 million) to join the judge’s panel on the hit UK talent show “The X Factor.”

This wouldn’t normally grab my attention, but when I read that the offer included the potential to move his limey ass over to the upcoming American version down the road, I got real interested, real quick.  My god, I would tune in every week (and i mean tune in, not DVR) to watch him crush the souls of young, aspiring pop stars.  Exhibit 1,897-C…

Music mogul Simon told the former Oasis guitarist to “name his price” to fill his judging slot on the hit ITV talent show.

But Noel, 43, said he did not need the cash and wanted to focus on his music career instead – because he had “a duty” to stop brother Liam’s band Beady Eye “stinking up the bottom of the charts”.  [The Sun via NME]

The only way that panel could get more entertaining would be to have Gilbert Godfried prop up Greg Giraldo’s body between Simon and Noel and dole out judgment like a scene from Weekend at Bernie’s.

CAKE RELEASES NEW VIDEO, SHOULD’VE JUST USED ITS CLIPS FROM “SHAMELESS”

Emily Rossum hot

Emily Rossum likes her Cake in bed.

Cake has released a new music music today for its song “Long Time,” and it’s pretty terrible.  Utilizing low-budget CGI, it gives me that almost nauseous feeling I get when I watch sh*tty local business or radio station commercials, to which I’d mistakenly thought that outdated technology was relegated.  And you can almost smell the Frenchness of its creators Callicore Films through your monitor.  And it’s not a good smell.  You can check the video out here, and the song, sans official video, after the cut.

The song itself, on the other hand, I dig.  It’s off their latest album Showroom of Compassion, and I was immediately drawn to it when I heard it pop up during the season finale of Showtime’s Shameless last Sunday.  Which, incidentally, had been rocking some great songs all season.  Like this Jimmy Eat World song, which played over the finale’s closing scenes.  Or this Earl Greyhound song, an old favorite of mine, in episode 8.  You can’t ask for much more than a great TV drama/comedy with a great soundtrack.  Well, I suppose you could ask for more nude and sex scenes, but Emily Rossum, Laura Slade Wiggins, and Shanola Hampton have that pretty well covered.  Like, every episode.  [via Antiquiet]

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GIRLS OF SURVIVOR, PART II: HOT N’ NOT-SO-HEAVY

girls of survivor part 2 logo

If you’ve spent any significant amount of time with me, you know that I love Survivor.  You might also know that I used to have a blog over at Blogger which was not relegated to just music news.  Back in October of 2007, during the 15th season of Survivor, I dedicated a post to my favorite (read: hottest) girls to compete for the million dollars, Robinson Crusoe-style.  To this day, that post has seen, and continues to see, more traffic than the fire escape outside your mom’s bedroom window.  This explains why that’s the only non-music related post that made the jump over to Sounds Like Shark (*high-fives HTML redirect code*), and explains why I’m doing it again for the rest of this post.  I gots to keep all you horndogs happy!  This time around, though, it’s very much music-related, don’t worry…In a Sounds Like Shark EXCLUSIVE, frightening 50-year-old firefighter Julie Wolfe of the currently airing 22nd season has revealed herself to be Anberlin frontman Stephen Christian in leathery disguise.  I guess Anberlin needs the cash, I dunno.

Julie Wolfe Survivor Stephen Christian Anberlin

yeesh.

So without further ado, in the name of shamelessly garnering more pageviews, I give you the hottest girls of Survivor, seasons 16 through 22…

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Quickies Are Fun: How Is This Guy Famous? Edition

Kevin Rudolf Is A Looker

I’m glad to see Jay Sherman is making a comeback. I always thought The Critic was underappreciated.

Is This A Joke?

How is Soulja Boy a legitimate musical act and Wesley Willis died in relative obscurity? Is this a big joke on the general “Top 40”-listening public?

Introducing SMAP

Ok, actually this guy definitely deserves to be famous. SMAP is holding his ass back, figurately and literally, apparently. Tsuyoshi Kusanagi is a goddamn rockstar, not boyband material.

Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, a member of the Japanese pop music group SMAP, was arrested Thursday for public indecency after stripping naked while under the influence of alcohol at a Tokyo park, causing ripples not only in the nation but in South Korea, where the singer, who is fluent in Korean, is also popular. After arresting the 34-year-old Kusanagi, police searched his home in Tokyo’s Minato Ward, spurring numerous telephone calls from his fans in protest. The suspect admitted to stripping naked and told investigators, ”I regret what I did. I don’t remember how I went to the park, and why I became naked,” according to the police.

Oh, and in related news…tasered wizard micropenis.