Category Archives: Vanilla Ice

SNOOP DOGG IS TWO MONTHS TOO LATE, STILL A JOKE

Snoop Dogg Charlie Sheen studio

And the guitarist was having such a great day up until this point...

The Snoop Dogg and Charlie Sheen collaboration that absolutely everyone no one has been clamoring for has finally surfaced.  And it is every bit as terrible as you’d expect from a rapper who jumped the shark about eight years ago and an actor who nuked the fridge about eight weeks ago.  It’s called…wait for it…”Winning.”  Of course it is.

I miss young Death Row Snoop.  The one who hung around with murderers and business-oriented thugs named Suge who held Vanilla Ice over balconies by his ankles.  Come back to me, Doggfather!

[via Warming Glow]

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VANILLA ICE TO PANTOMIME CAPTAIN HOOK, THE JOKE IS ON US

Vanilla Ice Rob Van Winkle funny

Well, it’s April Fools’ Day.  Or, as I like to call it, “I Should’ve Stayed In Bed Day.”  So, it should come as no surprise that I immediately dismissed this story when I opened it up…

Vanilla Ice will star as Captain Hook in a pantomime production of Peter Pan this winter.

Taking place at the Central Theatre in Chatham, the show will mark the ‘Ice Ice Baby’ hitmaker’s panto debut.  [via NME]

Now, believe me, I was posting this story regardless, because whether or not this is an April Fools’ joke is irrelevant.  Just the mere idea that, thousands of miles apart from each other, potentially around the same time, Channing Tatum would be playing a young Peter Pan while Vanilla Ice, er, Rob Van Winkle, would be portraying PANTOMIMING Captain Hook was more than enough to send me into a giggle-fit and want to share it with you.

But my inherent investigative prowess took over, and one quick Google search later, a very funny April Fools’ joke became the greatest April Fools’ joke I’d seen in years, because IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING.  The story was reported on BBC News three days ago.  And is not the greatest joke of all one that is not, in fact, a joke, but has us believing it to be a joke?  I think Shakespeare said that somewhere.  And by “somewhere,” I mean “nowhere.”  But I can say with certainty that J.M. Barrie just threw up all over the inside of his coffin.

Vanilla Ice Ninja Rap Rob Van Winkle

"Ice, what do you think of our poster?" "Naw, dawg, ya'll gotta update dat sh*t." (*draws tattoos and piercings onto caricature of himself*)